The Naads Bulletin

It was a week of glorious, sweaty excess on the courts of Bedfordshire. Eight sessions, ten hours and thirteen minutes of work, and the heart rate monitor barely survived: 3,849 kcal burned, with a Monday monster of 118 minutes at an average 169 bpm and a peak of 199. That’s not training; that’s a cardio raid boss.

Tuesday brought a rare change of pace — a 27-minute walk, probably to recover from the previous day’s beatdown. Thursday was a double shift, 110 minutes plus a 19-minute cooldown that might as well have been a stretch. Friday closed the week with 89 minutes of grind.

The ladder, meanwhile, finally yielded: Bedforshire 14U, position one. 1,692 points, up one spot. The top was always the destination; now it’s the starting line.

The wall stayed quiet — no new notes, no arcade scores posted. Visitors ticked past 404, which the desk suspects is either a coincidence or a very subtle internet joke.

Also noted: the photo of the week is a birthday cake from last month. The desk extends a belated cheer for turning 14, and hopes the candles didn’t cause any injury.

Next stop: the All England Club, SW19. The countdown reads -15 days, which the desk interprets as 'already in the future, get on with it.'